feh

Feh, I know I said I was nearly ready to start internet dating again, and everyone is ready for some vicarious thrills, but then I read this unpublished play about a series of first internet dates and I'm talked out of it again. There's something so truly terrible about it all, about all the "getting to know you." It's almost worse than a job interview. The play was so accurate, like how the daters give each other the third degree about everything: "Are you interested in this? I am interested in this. You should become interested in it, I know what's best for you. You used to be interested in it? Well what happened to you? What is your problem? Do you have that problem a lot? I'm sure I could not be around someone with that problem. That is unacceptable. Bye." All these snap judgments are made, and I don't know how it can be avoided. Both parties are desperate to make their case for why they are so great and at the same time to root out any potential problems with the other party so that their precious time will not be wasted. It's not like chatting at a party with a group where you can just see how the person interacts with people and talk about subjects of general interest. The topics have to come around to things about the personality of you and your date the whole time. It's not like getting to know and like someone gradually. It's like: catch sight of them, make comparison to their personals photo, evaluate appearance, experience skepticism, form rating, evaluate body language, evaluate clothing, talk about yourselves at length as if in a sales meeting, and then yea or nay. There's not really a chance for someone to "grow on you." Unless for some reason one party likes the other enthusiastically, beyond what should be happening after reading their ad and meeting them for one or even three hours. Then that person convinces the other that they must go out again. Then the liker might "grow on" the likee after a longer exposure, but meanwhile the liker is only really in like with a fantasy of the likee and the thing is doomed anyway. It's fucked, I'm telling you!

Meanwhile, keep inviting me to your parties and instead of reading about my dates why not tune in to "Hooking Up" on ABC, premiering this Thursday at 9 pm. A bunch of women will be going through internet dating hell on national television. I'll be watching!